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Kinderopvang Kindergarden
Kinderopvang Kindergarden
afbevents1 05 apr

Me-time! Selfish or good for your child?

In bed until 9, get the holiday laundry done, fold dry laundry and clear it up straight away for once, put on workout clothes, breakfast, half-hour call with my sister, kitchen clean-up and immediately reorganize it while I am at it, read some e-mails and then go for a run after all... Relax, write column, shower, on to girlfriend No.1 for tea and then on to girlfriend No. 2 for dinner and drinks.

Last holiday I had just two days off. Really off. Off work, off child and off husband. Me-time-off. I-do-only-what-I-want-off. First I had to get used to it, after I had dropped off Dim at his grandparents and returned with a car full of useful shopping to an empty house full of junk. It turned into a bit of a not-so-much day, but the next day I got really into it as you can read.

I need my me-time

My little boy, my lovely exciting work and my dear friends are great, don’t get me wrong. But it is pretty nice after all: a few days without 100x 'MAMA', not having to think about others all the time, no constant need to be secretly preoccupied with work and email – simply getting away with doing whatever I want. And that is necessary every now and then. I realize this again on these scarce days. To clear your head, make fun plans, just to be alone with yourself and reflect on the things that matter to you. I make 'wish' lists, take a deep breath, realize how happy I am with my life, work and two men. I work out (finally) and unwind.

Do you take time for yourself?

Most of us are not very good at planning time for ourselves. We feel guilty if we do something fun while the children are at school or childcare. We fill the hours without children with useful or mandatory things. Before you even know it, even fun social events feel like a liability and too much.

Me-time is not just for yourself

We forget sometimes that me-time is not only good for ourselves, but for everyone! It makes us a more relaxed parent, because we -recovered and recharged- can handle the hectic life with work and children better. We are less irritable and have more patience during rush hour and tantrums. And the more relaxed we are, the more relaxed our child is! After all you are their role model and they are masters at noticing our moods and reacting to them. Oh, and we are also a happier (and nicer) partner when we make time for our own passions, thoughts, and friends!

Enjoy!

Just do it. Plan your me-time! Rather not just 1x per year, but every once in a while. Regularly and if you feel that it is necessary. An hour on the couch with a book, getting a breath of fresh air in the forest, relaxing in the sauna, just 10 minutes with a cup of tea in the sun or a weekend trip with a friend. And remember, when you are relaxing with a cup of tea in the bath tub or sitting on the patio: it is not selfish, but good for everybody. Really!

More tips?

Download the online parenting course ‘Help, I explode’ by Tischa Neve. A course which enables you to respond more calmly to the moods of your child, making it even cosier at home.

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About the autor

Tischa Neve is connected to Kindergarden as child psychologist and regularly offers interactive workshops for parents at each centre. She also develops modules for our employees.

Children learn most from what they observe us doing.”

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Tischa Neve

Child psychologist
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